How Little We Know!

Sitting upon a park bench in the hot, hot summer, waiting for my children to be done with art class, I grew exhausted! This was routine and routine was getting tiresome! 

When I stepped inside the building to gather my two tiny parcels and whisk them off to an ice-cream lunch, I asked the girl at the reception, "Are there any classes for parents to take during the time the kids are in their sessions?” "Sure", she replied and handed me a brochure! 

I picked oil painting, as casually as that! Over the next few months I would build a portfolio and attend art school! Who could have known?

I was shy and quiet! All my teachers branded me as shy and quiet! I assumed I was an introvert! I still think I am! I hid behind the fireplace when I attended a writers workshop, I did not wish to be seen and feared being heard! Or that was what I assumed! When participants were called upon to read their writing - the class went quiet. I found the silence unbearable! Soon I raised my hand and I was reading before an audience I barely knew! I'm not fully sure how that happened!

At a meeting of volunteers invited to discuss the prospects of an old chapel, in the city that I adore. I led my group in the discussion and was vociferous about retaining the original structure just cause I believe in preserving what is historical! Again I was surprised!

Not everything has been perfect and rewarding!

When my little one threw up on the floor as we stood in line to pay for books that we had picked up at a busy store! I was NOT flabbergasted! I knew what to do! I apologized to those around me, rushed her to the restroom, rushed back with paper napkins and started cleaning the mess. Thanks to my loud and felt apology most around me understood! When I skidded and fell into her pool of vomit, I cursed aloud and apologized again! This time an old man extended his hand offering to pull me up! I thanked him and continued cleaning! 

My little one cleaned herself up and came out to help me. She did not hesitate, she went up to the store clerk and apologized and offered to help the clerk in anyway possible! I was proud of her! Real proud! 

"Well, that's what you do mommy!” she replied and we smiled even as we smelled of puke!

Ten years back, I could have sworn that none of these above incidents would be handled the way in which I have handled them. In fact right now, I have no idea how the next minute or even tomorrow will be and that makes me anxious. 

But its more likely than not that I will be all right no matter what! I wonder why I struggle with my anxieties and my sometimes-mismanaged episodes of depression? Why do I forget on regular, uneventful days when I fret the most - that God resides in my destiny as well!