Eastern versus Western/ Selflessness versus Self-Grasping
Ignoring the cushions on the ground, I hurried to occupy a
chair lined at the back of the auditorium. The urgency with which I darted
across the hall to occupy one of the few seats was unnecessary, almost all of
the people gathered in there seemed to prefer sitting cross-legged on the
meditation cushions.
“Perhaps with more practice, I will be able to sit on those
cushions some day”, commented a fellow seeker sitting beside me. “I’m
determined to find my enlightenment on a chair”, I responded and we both
laughed as we introduced ourselves to the other.
Needless to say, it was one of the most interesting lectures
that I had ever attended. Listening to this highly revered western Buddhist
monk about the practice of meditation was definitely a treat.
Just as I was beginning to feel more and more settled and
completely engrossed in his words, he said, “We westerners may sometimes find
the concepts of selflessness difficult.” It was only then that I realized that
I was the only Indian woman in that gathering.
The observation did not bother me. I found the text hard to
comprehend in places as well and my objective was similar to that of the others
– we all simply wished to obtain a refined perspective from a seasoned
practitioner.
Later on when a friend probed me on the emphasis on
selflessness and compassion in eastern cultures, I began to wonder. Is selflessness truly a virtue?
Growing up in India, I can recall countless instances when
conformity was encouraged and sometimes even mandated. Leaving home has
definitely loosened the grip of cultural pre-conceptions. It has enabled me to
detach and become free of several habitual conditioning that I was used to.
In my mind, selflessness or a lack of ego is wrongly
construed as something that is healthy.
Constellating a sense of self is a basic human trait that is
innate and simply natural. This self is
what enables us to establish a responsible relationship with the outside world.
Honoring that which is unique and identifiable within us is essential to
construct a healthy ego.
Renunciation of unworthy notions and misconceptions
necessitates that we are aware of our own internal workings. Only a person who
is self-aware can transcend that self when essential.
Ironing out individual differences for cultural uniformity
is, in my mind, as harmful for the individual and for the culture as
over-identification with particular traits and rigidity is.
Philosophy of any kind is simply a general doctrine. Its
application to everyday life requires that individuals be aware of their unique
strengths and weaknesses. If not love, compassion, tolerance and mutual
understanding gets left behind at the prayer hall and real life remains
unaffected.
It was, after all, self-awareness than enabled an Indian
woman trained to conform to make the choice to sit upon a chair and be
compassionate to her overworked knees.
