When it comes to Popeye!

When it comes to Popeye, my young puppy who will turn two years of age in June, my instincts have been predominantly maternal.  His meals, exercise, nap times and socializations are among the things I attend to with great care.

He in turn is my muse, who watches over every single painting I paint from his spot on the couch and often listens to my writings that I read aloud to him.

In the past two years he has become my unshakable constant.

Recently a fellow seeker and a valued friend, with whom I attend Buddhist studies, commented that she could bet that I would attain enlightenment soon.

I laughed at her comment, “you have no clue of my many struggles”, I said and I meant it at the time. But the human ego is a starving ghost and it will accept the faintest of residual scraps to solidify its existence.

Anyhow without being completely aware I had begun to take my readings and my meditation practice a notch higher than usual as a result of her comment.

Sitting on my meditation cushion and imagining myself letting go of my infinite attachments to people, places and material goods – I felt that it was a possible state of mind for me to live with and I secretively began to feel good about myself.

In the meantime, spring temperatures required that Popeye who wears a beautiful black coat get his hair cut. Therefore it was time for me to take him to the groomers for his appointment.

Even as we entered the building he jumped up on my knees and pleaded that he not be left behind. He hid behind a chair and he begged and begged that I take him back with me.

 My heart was aching with his pain, when the lady in there casually said, “he’ll come to me once you leave so go ahead and leave!”

“Have you ever cut a King Charles Spaniel before? He’s a very soft natured dog and he is extremely sensitive? You have to be extra careful and gentle with him”, I barked, in an unusually stern tone!

She looked at me with contempt. I figured the word in her mind was a five letter one starting with a ‘b’. I walked out of there almost angry that he had to get a hair cut that day.

Somehow I had not managed to communicate to him that he would be all right and that I would certainly be back for him soon. As a result he was shivering with fear for no reason and my face was wet with tears on the way back home from there.

“Its just attachment”, I whispered to myself but my words consoled no one. “Nothing but sticky emotions that you need to take a step away from. You know, he’ll be fine!  These are all just thoughts and feelings that you are making up – let go!”, I told myself.

And just like that my wrath turned towards God. “Who even makes a universe as messed up as this – must be a man – I’m going to kick his ass so hard when I die that he’ll know better”, I had barely finished saying that when I noticed that I was laughing and crying at the same time.

The merit of my morning meditation was flushed. I had taken several steps away from attainting enlightenment.

Luckily things always change. In about half an hour I had calmed down and my starts were all aligned once again.  My opinion of God had changed to!

God must feel the way I did when I dropped Popeye off – like someone who wants to badly communicate that we will be all right, that he will never forget about us and he will always be there.

 Yet faith is a communication that happens in silence. Like almost all other good things, faith too seldom visits a distraught and out of control mind.

Popeye is back and is looking good in his new haircut. The lady at the salon and I chatted and exchanged kind words with each other – like me she too was in love with him – its inevitable!

And as for me with each insult that I survive with grace I’m sure I’ll hit enlightenment in this millennium or the next.

In response to Mara!

In his quest for finding a way out of suffering, Buddha followed severe ascetic practices that professed ignoring the body and its needs completely. Depleted to nothing more than just skin and bones he was very close to his death when young Sujatha offered him some food.

Realizing that such extremity had not brought him any closer to the truth Buddha ate the food offered by this young woman. She had saved his life but had not answered his questions.

So he sat in meditation once again and vowed not to get up until he had his answers.

The story goes that the demon ‘Mara’ tried to distract him with all kinds of threats and temptations. But Buddha sat still and attained what he sought all along.

Buddha simply understood that keeping the mind still enables us to be free of agitation caused by the demons of our feelings, thoughts, emotions and sensations.

While this does not explain complex issues like how the universe was formed or if human life has a purpose. It can definitely refrain us from entering a cesspool of questions for which we perhaps can never have the answers. He encouraged us to not take our questions seriously and treat them like dancing Mara.

We all have our ‘Mara’s’, that hound us from time to time.

Am I worthy? Am I good enough? Am I accomplished? Am I respected? Am I loved?

When my own ‘Mara’ visits there is not one other human who can dismiss him for me. Hearing the words, ‘yes, you are worthy’, ‘yes, you are good’, ‘yes, you are loved’ from several others does not chase away my ‘Mara’.

Over time I have discovered that there is little left to do but to sit still and allow for ‘Mara’ to stay for as long as he wishes to. Sometimes reacting to him also encourages him to stay longer. Just being aware of his presence and continuing to do what I do is the only way to be free of him.

When he leaves on his own after many unsuccessful attempts to disengage me all I can do is say, “Goodbye, I’m sure I will see you soon.”

Over time Mara’s visits have come down, his ferocity has dampened and his stories are less appealing. But he’s very creative so I should expect to see him every so often.

Apparently Buddha hesitated teaching what he had experienced because he was not certain that it could be taught. Now some 2500 years later, I feel grateful for the human who resisted the ‘Mara’ of doubt and shared his learning’s with others.

It occurs to me that these stories are all that we have to help each other!

This iconic painting titled ‘ The Scream’ by Edvard Munch in one among my favorites.

While on a walk with his friends, the artist apparently felt like he heard a scream resembling the sensation of angst that passed through nature. The blood red evening sky along with the reflective waters added to his anxiety and he simply stood at the spot frozen while his friends walked along.

Most of us who have actually been alive to the experience of living have felt this existential angst at one point or another. It’s a crushing force that seems to obliterate our individuality by smudging it into the mass collective of the universe.

The reason I find this work impressive is because it communicates the idea it carries with simplicity. It is not artistically exquisite or complicated. Yet it expresses a common phenomenon brilliantly!

Pieces of art be it music, paintings, sculptures, writings or movies that truly appeal to us are those that express what is quintessentially true to us with great clarity. Everything else is just noise in a noisy world!

The art world can be intimidating. I was especially anxious when I was still very new. Was I asking the right questions? Was I making the correct observations? What if I liked something everybody found hideous? What if I opened my mouth and gave proof of my ignorance? And such!

When we allow ourselves we all know, we know what we like and we know what we don’t like and that’s all that there is to art too!

The Vinegar Tasters

The battle for ideological supremacy is perhaps as old as mankind itself.

In this ancient Taoist painting, Confucius, Buddha and Loa Tzu (founder of Taoism) are seen tasting vinegar from the barrel.

As the story goes, Confucius balks at the sour taste as in his mind human life was constantly out of step with the heavens and strict enforcement of laws and regulations were essential to bring earthly life in conjunction to its counterpart – the heavens.

For Buddha, life was essentially filled with suffering and therefore his expression is one of stoicism. The bitterness of the vinegar is just another instance of the suffering that humans need to transcend through wisdom and compassion.

Loa Tzu is the only one seen rejoicing despite the bitter sour taste of the vinegar. To him all of life’s difficulties and challenges had to be embraced with joy and a sense of humor. In his mind there was no imbalance in the universe and everything that occurred was harmonious and natural.

Of course it’s a Taoist painting and therefore it upholds his truth as the one that brings ultimate happiness. For in essence as humans we all crave wellbeing and wish to avoid suffering.

Its funny however that in the Chinese culture where these three ideologies reside side by side, most often blended and undifferentiated, they should still compete with each other for the slightest bit of supremacy if possible.

In my own mind they are all right and they are all necessary for harmony and balance. After all Confucius’s regulations are necessary for a society to operate successfully, Loa’s Taoist sense of good humor and acceptance is necessary for myriad personalities within a family to thrive and get along and Buddha’s sense of training the mind in order that it may avert itself from excessive attachment is the ultimate self-help guidance available to humans.