So much for non-attachment..

So much for non-attachment!

Maybe it is the tuft of grey that has snuck up around my temples, or the knee joints that start complaining after I climb the stairs for the fifth time, or more so it’s all about the annual check up and the doctor uttering the word ‘peri menopausal’.

Anyhow, the already inquisitive mind of mine has turned drastically towards Buddhist philosophy, in search of solace.

Be it the nuances of understanding the mind the way Kamalashila specifies, contemplating the middle-way masterminded by Nagarjuna or simply relinquishing conceptualization of any kind as suggested by Chandrakirti, these ancient Indian masters have me hooked to the profound wisdom of their words.

However, the skeptic in me sometimes makes me wonder. Is philosophizing the same as perhaps relaxing with a drink, smoking a bit of pot, watching late night comedies or cleaning compulsively – simply a way to relax the mind and keep it in the here and now than in the far and far away?

On Monday, as I absorbed a new text that I’ve started reading I felt my chest expand with such joy at the beauty of the explanations offered that my spirit was soaring all day. The casual e-mail, checking on the health of a dear friend who has been in and out of hospitals recently didn’t warrant much anxiety, as I was sure she’d respond that very day.

By Tuesday afternoon, when I still hadn’t heard a word from her, I’d become un-obviously anxious. I pretended to keep my calm, reassured myself that it was my monkey mind projecting the unlikely alternatives of death, unbearable grief and loss of unimaginable magnitude. I was even able to withdraw my mind from such nastiness and stay focused on what was planned for the day.

Finally when I did hear from her, late afternoon, I felt so relieved that I had to rest. It was the fatigue of unfelt anxiety that had sneaked into me to such an extent that though relieved that she was all right, I turned off my electronics, downed a glass of wine and took a short nap to celebrate or recoup, as you’d prefer to say.

So much for non-attachment!

I guess the question is not if its better to meditate, philosophize, down alcohol, walk in circles, clean, cook, talk, rake the yard, work out strenuously or simply quit the scene by getting high in order to relax the devil’s tool that is so hard to live with – the human mind.

But the real question is what is it that makes life worth the living that we put into it?

And the answer is always these handful of pain-in-the-ass relationships, that after an exhausting day make us turn on the kitchen lights once more to prepare a grilled cheese sandwich for the child who was too distracted to eat her dinner.

Every thing else is simply defense against our helplessness!

Who am I to judge? To each their own! Cheers!

Stop Mourning and Extend Your Hand

Stop Mourning and Extend your Hand

There was a period in my life when I felt invisible! In hindsight, my irrationality had its roots in my fear. I experienced such a great chasm between what I felt on the inside and how it was perceived on the outside that the only bridge that I could build was one of screaming rage.

At that point, all I needed was compassion.

I knew I had to dig my own self out of the hole that I had vanished into, I knew that my journey would be hard and I felt anxious, as I was incapable of controlling the outcome of such an experiment.

Luckily I had an understanding spouse and I had access to all the resources that I needed.  I no longer feel invisible, unheard or incapable!

Change is difficult! Especially the ones that come out of no-where and turn your life inside out.

Having said that, the means one employs to achieve an end is important for me. It will always remain so and I can never agree with the means employed by our president elect.

But this morning I woke up thinking about all the people in the rural small towns who came out in large numbers so that the rest of us could hear their screaming rage. These are people who have lost their livelihood, their communities, their families and their way of life as a result of globalization.

Added to the sudden disappearance of their way of life, as they have known for generations they have been branded as uneducated, deplorable and insensitive to upsetting comments. 

Its time to take a pause and put yourself in the shoes of these men and women!

We are all living in interesting times. Globalization is irreversible, perhaps the lives that have been changed can never be restored, the desired solutions may not exist and the promises made cannot be kept.

But we can all choose to be compassionate to all those who are suffering in our midst. We can remain patient and extend a helping hand while they figure their way out of the maze.

Perhaps this is a reality check for all of us on both sides of the aisle.

People who are in pain will scream out vulgarities. It is up to the rest of us to set down our privileged moral thinking and extend our ears and hands.

Grace is not the prerogative of the rich, ambitious or the greedy. Grace belongs to the ordinary man. Thank God most of us humans are ordinary!