When it comes to Popeye!

When it comes to Popeye, my young puppy who will turn two years of age in June, my instincts have been predominantly maternal.  His meals, exercise, nap times and socializations are among the things I attend to with great care.

He in turn is my muse, who watches over every single painting I paint from his spot on the couch and often listens to my writings that I read aloud to him.

In the past two years he has become my unshakable constant.

Recently a fellow seeker and a valued friend, with whom I attend Buddhist studies, commented that she could bet that I would attain enlightenment soon.

I laughed at her comment, “you have no clue of my many struggles”, I said and I meant it at the time. But the human ego is a starving ghost and it will accept the faintest of residual scraps to solidify its existence.

Anyhow without being completely aware I had begun to take my readings and my meditation practice a notch higher than usual as a result of her comment.

Sitting on my meditation cushion and imagining myself letting go of my infinite attachments to people, places and material goods – I felt that it was a possible state of mind for me to live with and I secretively began to feel good about myself.

In the meantime, spring temperatures required that Popeye who wears a beautiful black coat get his hair cut. Therefore it was time for me to take him to the groomers for his appointment.

Even as we entered the building he jumped up on my knees and pleaded that he not be left behind. He hid behind a chair and he begged and begged that I take him back with me.

 My heart was aching with his pain, when the lady in there casually said, “he’ll come to me once you leave so go ahead and leave!”

“Have you ever cut a King Charles Spaniel before? He’s a very soft natured dog and he is extremely sensitive? You have to be extra careful and gentle with him”, I barked, in an unusually stern tone!

She looked at me with contempt. I figured the word in her mind was a five letter one starting with a ‘b’. I walked out of there almost angry that he had to get a hair cut that day.

Somehow I had not managed to communicate to him that he would be all right and that I would certainly be back for him soon. As a result he was shivering with fear for no reason and my face was wet with tears on the way back home from there.

“Its just attachment”, I whispered to myself but my words consoled no one. “Nothing but sticky emotions that you need to take a step away from. You know, he’ll be fine!  These are all just thoughts and feelings that you are making up – let go!”, I told myself.

And just like that my wrath turned towards God. “Who even makes a universe as messed up as this – must be a man – I’m going to kick his ass so hard when I die that he’ll know better”, I had barely finished saying that when I noticed that I was laughing and crying at the same time.

The merit of my morning meditation was flushed. I had taken several steps away from attainting enlightenment.

Luckily things always change. In about half an hour I had calmed down and my starts were all aligned once again.  My opinion of God had changed to!

God must feel the way I did when I dropped Popeye off – like someone who wants to badly communicate that we will be all right, that he will never forget about us and he will always be there.

 Yet faith is a communication that happens in silence. Like almost all other good things, faith too seldom visits a distraught and out of control mind.

Popeye is back and is looking good in his new haircut. The lady at the salon and I chatted and exchanged kind words with each other – like me she too was in love with him – its inevitable!

And as for me with each insult that I survive with grace I’m sure I’ll hit enlightenment in this millennium or the next.