Thing-one and Thing-two!

“Mom, she’s taken my foodie erasers and I want them back!” said thing -two. “Well she gave it to me, for helping her clean her room a month ago.” said thing- one. “Mom tell her!” urged thing-two, “No mom, you tell her!” directed thing-one.

As usual I stared outside the window at nothing in particular as I fixed their breakfast. I have apparently been caught talking to myself at times! In the meantime they continued.

“Well I’m not going to school unless she does not give me back my erasers.” said thing-two. “Well, I’m not going to school as she might take my erasers when I’m gone.” said thing-one!

I exploded, “What do you guys want me to do? Call the school and tell the administrator that the kids will not be in today on account of foodie-erasers!”

They took a whole minute to consider before they broke out into giggles. Soon they were laughing hysterically at their own silly selves. Just like that a story broke between the two, “The administrator will call the district supervisor and tell him about the foodie-erasers”, quipped thing-one. “The district supervisor will call and tell the state senator about the foodie-erasers”, said thing-two in between her hysteria. “The state senator will call the president and soon the whole country will know about the foodie erasers.,” concluded thing-two!

They got late for bus that morning and I had to drive them to school. On my way back home, I wondered at the absurdity of their quarrel, my own pathetic intervention, their happiness, my blood pressure, their laughter and my numbness.

That day I learnt my lesson! Now I simply back off when they argue! I leave the room, I wait for it to be over, I offer weapons so that they can get done killing each other quickly and smoothly and I wait in patience for the time they are in school so I can actually miss being with them.

I have made my own ground rules! I offer them food cause hungry people are irrational. I permit them pouting time and invariably they get bored and forget what they were angry about. I offer them a distraction that only works on rare occasions. In short I offer them anything but playing peacekeeper!

More often than not they are back together, thing-one and thing-two, cuddled before the television, chit chatting during homework time, giving the dog his bath, imitating us parents, making lists of mom-isms, exchanging outfits and jewelry and simply reveling in each other’s company!

‘It’s a sister-thing!” they explain as I turn up the music on my headphones and disappear into the safety of my soundproof room! Go figure!