Purple Crocus!

Right in the middle of the sidewalk, upon a strip of soil forgotten to be paved, I saw a purple crocus peeking from the ground, lifting its challis like mouth to drink in sunshine! It was a cold morning, yet orange sunlight poured in from the open blinds painting stripes of umber and red upon the old oriental carpet! I sat by the window hoping to catch more glimmers of the arrival of spring as the buds that had fought through the sleepy night waved upon branches of Cherry Blossom!

My spirit felt magnanimous, I was ready to grant an old wish and heal a wounded heart! So I did! Soaring upon the open wings of this beautiful day, I set out to accomplish what is impossible - changing the course of life!  This life has been very kind and yet this was not how I dreamt of doing my part a long, long time back! I started off sure that I was to be loved by all!

Some choices are not choices that are yours. Rather they are fences laid out by those that wish to keep you on the other side. Today my shield was down and my arms were laid yet the fence remained! Scabs fall of, an old wound that remains unhealed! It has been hard to know that some hearts will never find in them love for you. Why not? Is it because they cannot, they will not, they do not? Who knows? Time that's lost can never be found!

The gorgeous morning was waiting patiently for me to return, even as I sat waiting for dead bulbs by the window sill to come awake. I sighed as I retreated, my shield is down, my arms are laid, but these fences they are mine now! The boundary has been drawn to protect myself from unnecessary pain!

I whisper at sunset the words etched in my mind, meta meditation for kindness, may they be peaceful, may they be happy, may they know the beauty of their own true nature! And then I bless myself! "May I be happy, may I be peaceful, may I know the beauty of my own true nature and please may I allow these fences to remain!"

And thank you for this magnificent day!